NO Time
By: Mary E Roraff
I knelt to pray but not for long,I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer, And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends, They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do, That was my constant cry, No time to give to souls in need But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It was the book of life. God looked into his book and said "Your name I cannot find. I once was going to write it down... But never found the time"

FUNNY ISN'T IT?

Funny how a $10 bill looks so big when you take it to church,
but so small when you take it to the market.

Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour,
but how quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball.

Funny how long are a couple of hours spent at church,
but how short they are when watching a movie.

Funny how we can't think of anything to say when we pray, but don't have difficulty thinking of things to talk about to a friend.

Funny how we get thrilled when a baseball game goes into extra innings,
but we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time.

Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the bible,
but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a best selling novel.

Funny how people want to get a front seat at any game or
concert,
but scramble to get a back seat at church services.

Funny how we need 2 or 3 weeks advance notice to fit a church event into our schedule,
but can adjust our schedule for other events at the last
moment.

Funny how much difficult some people have learning a simple
gospel well enough to tell others,
but how simple it is for the same people to understand and repeat gossip about someone.

Funny how we believe what the newspaper say,
but question what the Bible says.

Funny, how everyone wants to go to heaven,
provided they do not have to believe,
or to think, or to say, or do anything.

FUNNY, ISN'T IT?

Jokes

An elderly couple were experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class, where they teach one to remember things by association. Later, the man was talking to a neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"Who was the Instructor?" the neighbor asked.

"Oh, let`s see," pondered the man. "Umm...what`s that flower, you know,
the
one that smells real nice but has those thorns...?"

"A rose?" offered the neighbor.

"Right," said the man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey,
Rose, what`s the name of the guy we took that memory class from?"

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose,
a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Where do you find a no-legged dog?
Wherever you left him.

This is my favorite poem, I learned it from my dad.

The Birdie Poem

Early one morning when the air was so still,
I saw a little birdie on my window sill.
He held his wing so very low,
He had a broken wing I know.
I lured him with some crumbs of bread,
...and then I SMASHED HIS BIG UGLY HEAD!!!

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?", "No," says the psychic. "Next term in her biology lesson."

Silly Quotes

You can lead a horse to water, but, a pencil must be lead.

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Friends: People who know you well, but like you anyway

Send me any clean jokes, poems, or stories that you think that I would like on my site.